Media Bias and the Bookstores
Like me, you probably know people who think the idea of media bias is bogus. Or perhaps you've heard someone suggest this on radio or television. But the only folks who know whether or not it exists are those who've been on the receiving end.Trust me: It exists.
In fact the problem is so pervasive that it creeps up in areas you wouldn't even consider. For example, did you know your local bookstore is biased? Probably not. Why would you? I had to fight tooth and nail to get Borders to allow me to do a book signing for 7 Myths. They did, after a lot of work on my part. But once the signing was over, you couldn't find my book in their store.
Thank God for Amazon, Book TV, and the rise of conservative publishing houses. Without these outlets, right-of-center folks would have no voice in the book industry.
It's interesting. Obama is quickly learning that average American folks are center or right of center. They are not liberal by today's definition. I suspect the mainstream media, along with the publishing industry, is learning this lesson as well.
Now let's see what they do about it.
The Reality of Divorce (and Day Care)
I've just finished reading Elizabeth Marquardt's Between Two Worlds, a study of what it's really like when children bounce back and forth between two homes with two parents. It's also something of a follow-up to Judith Wallerstein's The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, the groundbreaking 25-year study of children of divorce. Though there are many conclusions to be made about the effects of divorce, what makes Wallerstein's book unique is her argument about its "legacy," which she described in a 2000 interview this way:"The legacy-- and it's a very surprising legacy to me, but I think it's one that has really hit a chord throughout this country-- is that the major impact of divorce is not, as we thought, at the time of the breakup, although that's very hard, but the major impact of divorce happens when they enter young adulthood and they... when the man/woman situation, man/woman relationship moves center stage, and that's when the ghosts of the parent's divorce rise from the basement."
My husband has given me permission to vouch for Wallerstein's assertion. A product of divorce, my husband could easily be classified -- as so often happens with adult children of divorce -- as a child who came out of this situation relatively unscathed. He has a Master's degree and a good job; he is -- and has always been -- so well liked that he has not one enemy; and he has a lovely wife (had to get that in there) and two healthy children. By all accounts, he is a success.
But he doesn't always feel successful. He feels blessed, to be sure; but he struggles in ways that only he and I know about. As Wallerstein notes, the effects of divorce come to a head when the children of divorce get married themselves. That's when they face a whole host of demons.
I know my husband okayed my blogging this because he feels very strongly about the hidden costs of divorce. He and I have both felt its effects first-hand (not via my parents but my own divorce), though in very different ways. Consequently, our views on family life -- how to raise children, how to cultivate a happy marriage -- are almost 100% in sync.
This is not to say we have a perfect marriage. On the contrary, we work at it every day -- and I suspect we fail miserably at times. But unlike my first marriage, where I distinctly recall thinking "we could always get divorced if it doesn't work out" (a red flag if there ever was one), my husband and I don't consider divorce an option. Of course we know technically that it is, but it's not even on our radar screen.
The general consensus of these two books is this: Of course divorce is sometimes necessary, and no one's suggesting it shouldn't be an option. But the main reasons for divorce should ideally involve physical or emotional abuse, addiction, or serial adultery. Any environment that's clearly harmful to children is a slam-dunk.
The problem is determining the slam-dunk status. The no-fault divorce laws of 1970s, which began in California and quickly spread throughout the rest of the country, opened up a can of worms. While clearly there are other reasons people cannot manage to stay together outside of abuse, addiction, and adultery, the no-fault option left so much wiggle room that those who should probably stay together get lumped together with those who understandably need to split. It's a complicated mess.
But two conclusions of Marquardt's and Wallerstein's studies were fascinating. (1) Children of divorce have much in common with children who come from high-conflict marriages of intact families. (2) Re the issue of whether or not parents should "stay together for the sake of the children," the study showed it is best not to stay together ONLY if the marriage is a high-conflict one. In other words, there are millions of marriages in which both people aren't necessarily happy but they're not abusive or conflict-ridden. This would describe my husband's parents' marriage. In those cases, the consensus seems to be that it's best for the parents to stay together. But there's a caveat: Where getting divorced seems like the obvious solution to a high-conflict marriage, the problems that ensue as a result are sometimes just as bad.
Good grief!
What interests me most about all this is the "legacy" of divorce that Wallerstein describes -- not just because my husband and I live with it every day but because it's really the same argument I make in 7 Myths about day care: Its effects are so far-reaching on a personal level that we cannot defend the prevalence of day care (or divorce) by proving people "turn out fine." Every time someone makes this argument they refer to whether or not someone graduated from college or not; whether they're married or not; whether they have a good job or not; and whether they are "successful" in the traditional way we define success. But these are not the defining factors of a person's mental health and well-being. They tell us nothing about a person's level of confidence, ability to persevere and take criticism, self-esteem, and overall happiness. These are the markers of a successful life.
Indeed, children of day care suffer much in the same way children of divorce do. We just don't have a 25-year study in process that follows these children into adulthood. Not yet, anyway. Perhaps someday we will.
Obama's Summer of Discontent
Please read this brilliant, brilliant piece about Obama and what has occurred this past year in America. Read it slowly, with no distractions. It's a spot-on analysis.Obama's Summer of Discontent
By FOUAD AJAMI
So we are to have a French health-care system without a French tradition of political protest. It is odd that American liberalism, in a veritable state of insurrection during the Bush presidency, now seeks political quiescence. These “townhallers” who have come forth to challenge ObamaCare have been labeled “evil-mongers” (Harry Reid), “un-American” (Nancy Pelosi), agitators and rowdies and worse.
A political class, and a media elite, that glamorized the protest against the Iraq war, that branded the Bush presidency as a reign of usurpation, now wishes to be done with the tumult of political debate. President Barack Obama himself, the community organizer par excellence, is full of lament that the "loudest voices" are running away with the national debate. Liberalism in righteous opposition, liberalism in power: The rules have changed.
It was true to script, and to necessity, that Mr. Obama would try to push through his sweeping program—the change in the health-care system, a huge budget deficit, the stimulus package, the takeover of the automotive industry—in record time. He and his handlers must have feared that the spell would soon be broken, that the coalition that carried Mr. Obama to power was destined to come apart, that a country anxious and frightened in the fall of 2008 could recover its poise and self-confidence. Historically, this republic, unlike the Old World and the command economies of the Third World, had trusted the society rather than the state. In a perilous moment, that balance had shifted, and Mr. Obama was the beneficiary of that shift.
So our new president wanted a fundamental overhaul of the health-care system—17% of our GDP—without a serious debate, and without "loud voices." It is akin to government by emergency decrees. How dare those townhallers (the voters) heckle Arlen Specter! Americans eager to rein in this runaway populism were now guilty of lèse-majesté by talking back to the political class.
We were led to this summer of discontent by the very nature of the coalition that brought Mr. Obama, and the political class around him, to power, and by the circumstances of his victory. The man was elected amid economic distress. Faith in the country's institutions, perhaps in the free-enterprise system itself, had given way. Mr. Obama had ridden that distress. His politics of charisma was reminiscent of the Third World. A leader steps forth, better yet someone with no discernible trail, someone hard to pin down to a specific political program, and the crowd could read into him what it wished, what it needed.
The leader would be different things to different people. The Obama coalition was the coming together of disparate groups: the white professional liberals seeking absolution for the country in the election of an African-American man, the opponents of the Iraq war who grew more strident as the project in Iraq was taking root, the African-American community that had been invested in the Clintons and then came around out of an understandable pride in one of its own.
The last segment of the electorate to flock to the Obama banners were the blue-collar workers who delivered him Ohio, Pennsylvania and Indiana. He was not their man. They fully knew that he didn't share their culture. They were, by his portrait, clinging to their guns and religion, but the promise of economic help, and of protectionism, carried the day with them.
The Obama devotees were the victims of their own belief in political magic. The devotees could not make up their minds. In a newly minted U.S. senator from Illinois, they saw the embodiment of Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Delano Roosevelt and John F. Kennedy. Like Lincoln, Mr. Obama was tall and thin and from Illinois, and the historic campaign was launched out of Springfield. The oath of office was taken on the Lincoln Bible. Like FDR, he had a huge economic challenge, and he better get it done, repair and streamline the economy in his "first hundred days." Like JFK, he was young and stylish, with a young family.
All this hero-worship before Mr. Obama met his first test of leadership. In reality, he was who he was, a Chicago politician who had done well by his opposition to the Iraq war. He had run a skillful campaign, and had met a Clinton machine that had run out of tricks and a McCain campaign that never understood the nature of the contest of 2008.
He was no FDR, and besides the history of the depression—the real history—bears little resemblance to the received narrative of the nation instantly rescued, in the course of 100 days or 200 days, by an interventionist state. The economic distress had been so deep and relentless that FDR began his second term, in 1937, with the economy still in the grip of recession.
Nor was JFK about style. He had known military service and combat, and familial loss; he had run in 1960 as a hawk committed to the nation's victory in the Cold War. He and his rival, Richard Nixon, shared a fundamental outlook on American power and its burdens.
Now that realism about Mr. Obama has begun to sink in, these iconic figures of history had best be left alone. They can't rescue the Obama presidency. Their magic can't be his. Mr. Obama isn't Lincoln with a BlackBerry. Those great personages are made by history, in the course of history, and not by the spinners or the smitten talking heads.
In one of the revealing moments of the presidential campaign, Mr. Obama rightly observed that the Reagan presidency was a transformational presidency in a way Clinton's wasn't. And by that Reagan precedent, that Reagan standard, the faults of the Obama presidency are laid bare. Ronald Reagan, it should be recalled, had been swept into office by a wave of dissatisfaction with Jimmy Carter and his failures. At the core of the Reagan mission was the recovery of the nation's esteem and self-regard. Reagan was an optimist. He was Hollywood glamour to be sure, but he was also Peoria, Ill. His faith in the country was boundless, and when he said it was "morning in America" he meant it; he believed in America's miracle and had seen it in his own life, in his rise from a child of the Depression to the summit of political power.
The failure of the Carter years was, in Reagan's view, the failure of the man at the helm and the policies he had pursued at home and abroad. At no time had Ronald Reagan believed that the American covenant had failed, that America should apologize for itself in the world beyond its shores. There was no narcissism in Reagan. It was stirring that the man who headed into the sunset of his life would bid his country farewell by reminding it that its best days were yet to come.
In contrast, there is joylessness in Mr. Obama. He is a scold, the "Yes we can!" mantra is shallow, and at any rate, it is about the coming to power of a man, and a political class, invested in its own sense of smarts and wisdom, and its right to alter the social contract of the land. In this view, the country had lost its way and the new leader and the political class arrayed around him will bring it back to the right path.
Thus the moment of crisis would become an opportunity to push through a political economy of redistribution and a foreign policy of American penance. The independent voters were the first to break ranks. They hadn't underwritten this fundamental change in the American polity when they cast their votes for Mr. Obama.
American democracy has never been democracy by plebiscite, a process by which a leader is anointed, then the populace steps out of the way, and the anointed one puts his political program in place. In the American tradition, the "mandate of heaven" is gained and lost every day and people talk back to their leaders. They are not held in thrall by them. The leaders are not infallible or a breed apart. That way is the Third World way, the way it plays out in Arab and Latin American politics.
Those protesters in those town-hall meetings have served notice that Mr. Obama’s charismatic moment has passed. Once again, the belief in that American exception that set this nation apart from other lands is re-emerging. Health care is the tip of the iceberg. Beneath it is an unease with the way the verdict of the 2008 election was read by those who prevailed. It shall be seen whether the man swept into office in the moment of national panic will adjust to the nation’s recovery of its self-confidence.
—Mr. Ajami teaches at the School of Advanced International Studies, The Johns Hopkins University. He is also an adjunct fellow at Stanford University's Hoover Institution.Obama's Approval Rating
I get absolutely no joy out of this whatsoever. It's sad. It's just very sad for so many different reasons. No one should be joyful over this.And in case it doesn't open when you click, the numbers are as follows:
Obama's approval has dropped from around 70 to 51 (I'm estimating), and disapproval has jumped from about 10 to 40.
Addendum
Okay, so I regressed a bit last night: I watched my son as he slept.If you're a parent, you know how dangerous this is. There isn't a child in the world who doesn't look wholly innocent and downright scrumptious when he sleeps. When my son is asleep, I have a moment to drink him in. During the day he's so loud, so noisy -- the child is always making noise: singing loudly, talking loudly, laughing loudly -- that I can't hear myself think. I don't have a chance to drink him in.
But at night I take my moments, and last night I did. Which of course made me well up with emotion knowing that he and I will no longer have our days together.
So there. I regressed. I miss him already.
Shoot. Thought I got off scot free with that one.
Back to School
So yesterday I drop my son off for his first day of real, all day school. He looked so grown up in his uniform, which he had on by 6:30 in anticipation of our 7:50 departure time. He showed me the contents in his book bag for the umpteenth time, telling me what each thing was. His excitement was contagious.He said to me, "This is going to be really different for us." (This sounds rather mature, I know; but he's merely repeating what I've said to him.) "We're not going to be together all day anymore. No more lunches, and no more going places -- except on weekends." I said, "I know. How do you feel about that?" To which he replies, "Awesome. I'm kinda tired of seeing you all the time."
Now you really have to know my son to understand his personality. He's a card, always trying to be smart-alecky in a fun, respectful way. He's a charmer. He is very much like me, I'm afraid (except for the charming part; I'm not charming): independent, and always trying to get away with stuff. When he can't, which is most of the time, he whines for a minute -- then gets over it pretty quick. Suffice it to say, there is absolutely no separation anxiety going on. He's ready to go; and as much as I love him, I'm ready for him to go, too. It's been a long six years together.
So I couldn't help but notice when his dad and I arrive at his classroom yesterday with all the other parents that one mom comes out crying pretty bad. I felt badly for her, and I respect how she feels. But I can't relate whatsoever.
Fifteen minutes later my husband is treating me to a latte where apparently a lot of other parents from school -- or moms, anyway -- thought they'd go. I run into one from my son's class and she says, "Feeling pretty good today?" Of course I'm smiling from ear to ear and say yes. She agrees. Then I mention the mom who was crying and she says, I know. To which I say, I understand...but I'm just not there.
"Neither am I," she says.
Ten years is a long time to be home full-time with children -- at least by today's standards. I can't remember what it's like to come and go as I please; that's how long it's been. But the truth is that my feelings today are not like that other mom's. I feel a bit like I did at high school graduation -- when I couldn't wait for the next stage of my life. In fact right now I feel like I truly have it all: Half the time I get to enjoy being autonomous and bring back some sense of order to my life -- and the other half I get two beautiful children to care for.
Life is good.
Large American Families
Something that occurred this weekend is a great starting point for me to switch gears a bit. I'm tired of talking politics. Suffice it to say our country is in trouble...we know that. Not much else to say at this point. So on that note...On Saturday my friend, who's a mother of five -- I believe I've mentioned her before for those of you who follow my blog -- went out for ice cream with the whole family. All seven of them. They were enjoying their ice cream in the back of their Suburban when an Asian family notices them. What does this family do? They start taking pictures of my friend and her family eating ice cream in their car! My friend said she felt what it must be like to be Brangelina. She also said, "Apparently a large family is a real spectacle." Indeed. Particularly to a culture -- assuming they were Chinese; perhaps they were of another descent -- whose laws require families to have only one child.
Large families are indeed an anomaly. Interestingly enough, my second book began as a project about the demise of large families in America (but evolved into a larger study about how and why childrearing is more difficult for the modern generation). It is a subject of huge interest to me, not just because I live vicariously through my friend's life but because of the reasons behind the decline in large families -- which has been holding steady since 1977. Since that time just over half of Americans – between 50 percent and 56 percent – have said smaller families are "ideal." Indeed, large families are so rare today that Americans are mesmerized by this lifestyle, as evident not just by reality television but in what happened to my friend this weekend.
It is no coincidence that the decline in large families corresponds with the decline in religion. Americans are much less religious than they used to be. An offshoot of this, I believe, is the rejection of the idea of devoting one's entire life to parenting. Because there's no question that the more children a couple has, the less independent lives -- the less time to oneself, the less time for friendships, the less time for marriage, the less time for careers --they will have. Moreover, as their last child heads off to college, the oldest will most likely be having his or her first child. It's a never-ending cycle of mothering for Mom -- which, for some women, works.
But it's not for most of us. While many people blame the cost of living for why families are smaller today -- as they do when explaining why most mothers are in the workforce -- this is not the underlying reason. The underlying reason why families are smaller (and why mothers of babies and young children return to work full-time) is that once people get a taste of how much easier life can be, they choose this route.
The decline in large families sure makes a great study of human nature. I have all the respect in the world for people who choose such a life, but I admit I cannot imagine the kind of selflessness that's required. (Same goes with homeschooling.) This week is a new beginning for me: My last child starts first grade and the house will once again be mine for seven hours a day. For the first time in 10 years, I will have silence, alone time, and a return to some sense of order. I will miss my children, of course; and these years at home with them have been priceless.
But the truth is, I can't wait to have my life back (so to speak). For me, two kids is perfect.
Democrat No Longer Means Democrat
I personally find this shocking and scary at the same time. Thought you might, too. It is from a letter to the editor in our local hometown paper.Norman Mattoon Thomas was a leading American socialist, pacifist, and six-time presidential candidate for the Socialist Party of America. As a candidate he said this in a speech in 1944: "The American people will never knowingly adopt socialism. But, under the name of "liberalism," they will adopt every fragment of the socialist program, until one day America will be a socialist nation, without knowing how it happened. I no longer need to run as a presidential candidate for the Socialist party. The Democrat party has adopted our platform."
Health Care in Simple Terms
Ronald Dworkin is an anesthesiologist whose editorial in today's WSJ describes how health-care reform would affect us on an everyday level. (Dworkin also happens to be the author of Artificial Happiness, a great book about our prescription drug culture.) I love writers who talk plainspeak.Here's a part of what he wrote:
"When a rich person rolls into the operating room, the nurse asks him, "Would you like a warm blanket? How about a pillow?" The anesthesiologist numbs his skin before putting in the I.V. Every effort is made to make him happy.
People in the operating room pay attention to a rich patient's wishes because they know a rich person can make their lives miserable. He can complain to the hospital president or call the mayor, but the side effect is habitual and all patients receive it.
When a poor person complains, in most environments no one listens. But in health care, through a common private insurance system, poor people go to the same hospitals and doctors as rich people and thus enjoy the benefit of rich people's power.
The public option severs this link. Dissatisfied with the government-run health care, the rich will exit the system. The poor and middle class will be left to flounder alone inside the public system. Government-run health care will become like the public schools."
A Great Idea
A while back I mentioned that some women -- feminists, naturally -- said they were having sex dreams about Obama.Well, last night I too had a dream about Obama -- but it certainly wasn't sexual. On the contrary, I was counting out my cash and handing it over to him. Really. I'm not making this up.
So then I woke up this morning with this great thought: Imagine if every single American received their two-week pay BEFORE taxes in the form of cash rather than automatic deposit. Every two weeks you'd be handed the cash you earned, then you would put it in four piles: one for the mortgage/car/bills, one for spending money, one for savings, and one for the government.
If every two weeks people physically saw the amount of cash they had to give the government, I'm convinced every American would become a Republican -- or at least an old-school Democrat.
Isn't that a great idea?
Getting to Know Barack and Michelle Better
Lest you -- or people you know -- are under the impression Obama is a centrist (as he likes to claim), here are some words directly out of his and his wife's mouth to put these notions to rest:"I won't deny my preference for the story the Democrats tell, nor my belief that the arguments of liberals are more often grounded in reason and fact."
"The truth is, in order to get things like universal health care and [a] revamped education system, someone is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so someone else can have more." (Michelle)
"I am extremely concerned that [the partial-birth abortion ban] will [cause] conservative Supreme Court justices to erode Roe vs. Wade, which is a matter of equal rights for women."
The partial-birth abortion law is a "ban on a legitimate medical procedure" that "is clearly unconstitutional and must be overturned..." (Michelle)
"The right wing has done a good job of building these organizations of accountability, but it's always easier to organize around intolerance, narrow-mindedness, and false nostalgia."
The Wise Old Rancher
While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year old rancher, whose hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Obama.The old rancher said, "Well, ya know, Obama is a 'post turtle.'
Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a 'post turtle' was.
The old rancher said, "When you're driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on the top, that's a 'post turtle.'"
The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor's face so he continued to explain.
"You know he didn't get up there by himself, he doesn't belong up there, he doesn't know what to do while he's up there -- and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put him up there to begin with."
What Must a Girl Do To Show Her Liberal Stripes?
Hold on to your hat: I'm going to praise the Sixties era (for an interesting take on this subject, click here) -- and possibly even modern feminists. I know, I know, it goes against human nature; but I believe in giving credit where credit is due.One positive is that I believe feminism is partly responsible for fathers' involvement at home -- which has been nothing but a boon for kids, in my opinion. (It can sometime pose problems for husbands and wives, though, since reversing gender roles isn't exactly natural.) Though I'm not convinced America wouldn't have naturally moved in this direction with or without a movement, helping it along certainly wasn't a bad thing.
But without a doubt, the main positive that came out of the 60s was great music. Hands down, the greatest music of all time. I was thinking about this this morning as I was listening to Janis Joplin, which immediately catapulted me to another time and place. It's amazing how music can do that: put you back in another time in your life when you were surrounded by completely different people. For me, 1960s music sends me back to my college days. I thought about my experiences back then, how political seeds were being planted even then.
I was the girl who hailed from the Midwest. I went to Boston University, and everyone I knew had been raised on the East Coast: Connecticut, New York, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, and New Jersey. This served as quite an education for me.
To begin with, my closest friends were Jewish. This may not seem like a big deal, but I went to a Catholic high school and had known only one Jewish person in my entire life. (That's one way St. Louis lags behind: integration.) I didn't think anything about this one way or the other until I was in college and coincidentally found a comraderie with Jewish women, which I'm convinced is because we share a similar constitution. Yes, I know: I'm stereotyping. But some stereotyping in life is necessary. Jewish women are, generally speaking, a confident bunch -- which I like. Of course they tend to be a liberal lot, but hey -- no one's perfect.
Of course the college experience itself is very liberal -- at least up East it is. Indeed, I quickly became known as the "conservative" among the group, but here's what's interesting: I was labeled as such for three main reasons: I didn't use hard drugs; I didn't sleep around; and I didn't go to Washington D.C. to march in pro-choice demonstrations. Funny thing is, at the time I considered myself quite liberal. I didn't eschew recreational marijuana use; I didn't (and don't) have a problem with mature, responsible, premarital sex (though I did -- and do -- have a problem with casual sex, or "hooking up"); and I wasn't (and am still not) what you would call a "lifer." I part ways with my solidly conservative friends when it comes to abortion and voluntary euthanasia. While I'm not pro-choice, I'm also not looking to overturn any laws. Nevertheless, I was still dubbed the conservative girl from the Midwest during college.
As an adult things haven't been much different. I've been labeled conservative for my position on stay-at-home motherhood -- which merely translates to believing a parent should be home when the kids are home. (That this has even become debatable still shocks me.)
My point is that what it means to be liberal or conservative has become entirely skewed; hence the reason for this blog. My next post will be about The Rise of the Moderate. I think this America is already here. The most recent Gallup numbers show the following in terms of how Americans describe themselves:
40% conservative
21% liberal
35% moderate
Any way you look at it, being "liberal" today is not popular -- though it would appear otherwise. With a far-left president and his cronies in the media, it can be hard to keep the above statistics in the forefront of our collective mind.
Global Warming
Read below. I dare you not to laugh.Sen. Debbie Stabenow, Energy Leader (National Review, 08.10.09)
Detroit, Mich. - Michigan just experienced its coldest July on record; global temperatures haven't risen in more than a decade; Great Lakes water levels have resumed their 30-year cyclical rise (contrary to a decade of media scare stories that they were drying up due to global warming), and polls show that climate change doesn't even make a list of Michigan voters' top-ten concerns.
Yet in an interview with the Detroit News Monday, Senator Debbie Stabenow (D., Mich.) - recently appointed to the Senate Energy Committee - made clear that fighting the climate crisis is her top priority.
"Climate change is very real," she confessed as she embraced cap and trade's massive tax increase on Michigan industry - at the same time claiming, against all the evidence, that it would not lead to an increase in manufacturing costs or energy prices. "Global warming creates volatility. I feel it when I'm flying. The storms are more volatile. We are paying the price in more hurricanes and tornadoes."
And there are sea monsters in Lake Michigan. I can feel them when I'm boating.
The Perfect Gin & Tonic
1 1/2 ounces ginfill rest of glass with Schweppe's tonic
1/2 a lime
There are two secrets to this drink: You must use Schweppe's, and you cannot fill the glass with regular ice. Here's what you do: Get an old-fashioned ice tray and fill it with the tonic water. By morning you'll have ice cubes made out of tonic to put in your drink so as the ice melts, it melts without watering down your drink.
If you hate gin, substitute with vodka.
Please don't drink more than two; I don't want to be blamed for anything that may go south. If you stick with two, it'll do its job in helping you forget about the sad state of affairs in the White House.
My Website
Just wanted to alert you all to my redesigned website -- www.suzannevenker.com. I added a new heading called "Mom Facts" and will be blogging there on occasion to keep people abreast of what's happening in my writing life.Please pass my website on to all the moms (and dads!) you think may be interested!
The Problem with Health Care
Generally speaking, I live by the rule that if something appears too good to be true, it probably is. Obama is attractive, articulate, well-spoken -- and black. This is a potent combination for America in the 21st century. The only thing missing from the package is a worldview that's in step with the American people. If Obama had that, he would no doubt go down as the greatest president who ever lived. Amazing.Unfortunately for him, this will not happen -- as Obama does not have an accurate understanding of human nature and what the role of government should be. Moreover, he does not have his pulse on what Americans really want. Health care is a perfect example.
The proposal for universal health care is not all that different from the idea of universal child care, which is next on Obama's list. But he will run into the same problem with this issue: The majority of Americans do not believe the government is responsible for taking care of their children. According to a lengthy report from the most reputable polling organization in America, Public Agenda, 60% of parents of children 5 and under believe parents, not the government, are responsible for their children's care -- and a whopping 72% believe they are responsible for the costs incurred. Even a majority of low-income parents believe bearing such costs is "their responsibility and not society's"! With these kinds of numbers, Obama will find himself hitting his head against a brick hall (at which point he'll try to find a way to blame Bush).
It's no different with health care. Obama just doesn't appreciate the fact that most Americans do not agree with paying into a system that will launch us into a bureaucratic nightmare. He seems to be under the impression he's smarter (there's that narcissism again) than most Americans because he's going to great lengths to convince Americans that his plan is somehow superior.
It's highly unfortunate. The presidents who do well are those who fully understand the American people -- and bring forth policies that speak to their concerns. This president is failing left and right (no pun intended) in this regard.
I almost feel sorry for him.
Understanding Obama
Below is an interesting observation from a reader re my recent post about Obama's narcissism:Most narcissists have a traumatic childhood. Obama was abandoned by his mother at 10 and sent to live in Hawaii with is grandparents.I have lived in Hawaii for 5 years and have found this to be a very racist state, the locals do not like "haoles" or in other words white people. They are also prejudiced against black Americans.Folks who have lived here for a long time say the rascism here is not as bad as it "used to be".So Obama grew up as a product of a white mother and a black father in Hawaii. I am sure this was very traumatic and set the groundwork for his hatred of whites.Hold on America because when a narcissist is opposed, they will lash out.
Now I realize I don't know this person, but I do know something about narcissists; and this reader is right. It's a hard pill to swallow that we may have a President whose character and make-up not like most people's, but we need to be open to the fact that this may be what we're dealing with. Everything about him points to this possibility.
Julie & Julia -- A Review
You simply must, must, must, must, must go see Julie & Julia. I cannot remember the last time I thoroughly enjoyed a movie like I enjoyed this one. I didn't even care about the ticket price this time. ($8.50 for a MATINEE)I should add that I had zero expectations going in -- so now that I've told you how great it is, you may not have the same reaction. Also, it spoke to me on a personal level (with respect to blogging and the writing/publishing world) -- which it may not in your case. All that aside, I cannot imagine anyone not loving this movie. There is nothing not to love.
It tells Julia Child's personal story -- of which I knew nothing -- alongside this Julie Powell, whose claim to fame is cooking and blogging her way through Julia Child's most famous cookbook. It vascillates back and forth b/w the 1960s -- Julia Child's heyday -- and present day Queens, NY, where Julie Powell lives.
Anyway -- go, go, go. I don't know how to make it more clear.
Go.
Obama's a Child with a Man's Job
When I see a quote in the media, I try to research first so I can put the quote in context. I know from experience how the media can pull things out of context for a good headline. So that's what I did with a recent headline on Drudge. The quote was not taken out of context.At a campaign rally for State Senator Creigh Deeds (What kind of name is that?), Obama was talking about having "a lot of work to do" -- though whether he was talking about health care or in general terms I don't know -- and says he doesn't mind being held responsible for what's happening in this country since he's now the president. But, he adds (and here's the quote from Drudge), "I don't want the folks who created the mess to do a lot of talking. I want them to get out of the way so we can clean up the mess. I don't mind cleaning up after them, but don't do a lot of talking."
It's hard to appreciate the nuances of Obama's speech without watching him in action. He's very slick, and unless you've had experience with slick people, it can be hard to see it for what it is. Indeed, our president is a bona fide egomaniac -- and completely ill-suited to be the President of the United States. Of course the packaging is great. But some of the best-looking packages turn out to be a whole lot of nothing when you open them, and that is certainly the case here.
Notice Obama begins by saying he has no problem taking responsibility, but then he spends the following ten minutes shirking responsibility by pointing fingers at his predecessor. Each time he blames Bush, he sounds like a child who shouts, "But he did it first!" What's even scarier is that this method he's using -- of constantly looking backward -- has no end. Obama can -- and will -- continue to blame Bush every time he runs into a brick wall. Every time he fails.
That's what children do when they don't get their way. And it's what adults do when they can't accept that maybe, just maybe, their way isn't the right way.
NAAFA
Yesterday we took our kids to Six Flags. Taking one's kids to any event in which there are thousands of people is a surefire way to see what America looks like. Let me save you the trouble: We're fat. I know, I know...I'm supposed to use nicer words. Large. Obese. Oversized. Big. But let's just call it what it is: fat. I am not exaggerating when I say it was difficult to spot a person who was NOT fat.The truth is, I'm very sympathetic to how and why people become overweight. Our society does not make it easy, that's for sure. But the reality is that, like anything else, it has to come down to individual responsibility. There is nothing good about being fat. Not only is it unattractive, it's a recipe for depression and even death. It's bad news all the way around.
So the fact that there's an organization called National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance is just wrong. Part of NAAFA's goal is to "help build a society in which people of every size are accepted with dignity and equality in all aspects of life." That right there is the problem. If it read "...a society in which people of every size are treated with dignity," that would be something else. Because every human being should be treated with dignity and respect. But accepting obesity is not an option.
In its FAQ section, NAAFA says "Scientific studies show that the majority of people cannot achieve long-term sustainable weight loss." It is absolutely false to say that the majority of people cannot sustain weight loss; a more accurate way to put it is that the majority of people struggle to sustain weight loss. This may sound like semantics, but it is not. Can't means it isn't possible, but ask any weight loss expert -- Bill Phillips. Dr. Oz, Bob Greene -- and they will tell you that it is. And as far as discrimination goes, that's tricky. The reality is that if you're an obese person, there are certain things you cannot do that a person of a healthy weight can. This must be taken into account in all sorts of situations.
Keep in mind there's plenty of room for people to be overweight without experiencing discrimination. I think America is pretty reasonable overall: We give people a lot of wiggle room. But being obese if different from being 20 lbs overweight. Obesity is driving our health coverage into the ground. It's a serious financial drain, and a problem that isn't just about the individual but about society as a whole.
Being obese is not a disease; it's a choice. One that, in most cases, can be reversed.
The Success of FOX
Below is the latest news re FOX News:Fox News a Bright Spot in Bleak News Corp. Earnings Report
News Corp. reported full year adjusted operating income of $3.6 billion, a 32.5% fiscal-year drop. For Q4, the media conglomerate posted a loss of $203 million, compared with earnings of $1.1 billion a year ago.
Chairman Rupert Murdoch singled out the success of Fox News Channel in his release:
The FOX News Channel (FNC) operating income, as compared to the prior year, increased 50% for both the fourth quarter and the full year, primarily from increased affiliate revenues. For the full year, FNC primetime ratings were up 45% compared with the same period a year ago.
And Fox News continues on a ratings tear this week. On Monday night and again last night, FNC beat the combined prime time averages, in both Total Viewers & A25-54 viewers, of MSNBC and CNN.
In fact last night, "The O'Reilly Factor" (on cable TV) averaged 3.67 million Total Viewers at 8pmET topping the 8pm average of 2.91M on ABC (on broadcast TV), with "Superstars."
----------------------------------I should add, before I say anything else, that I'm not a FOX freak. There are no shows that I TIVO or "must see," nor do I base my opinions around what FOX News says and does. When I do tune in to television, however, it tends to be FOX. But I flip around first. I usually land there, or on CNN (since it's trying to redeem itself) because I can get information there that I can't get elsewhere. That's really it in a nutshell. I don't worry about the bias that does or doesn't exist -- for two reasons. One, it's only biased if you're watching certain shows. Glenn Beck is, admittedly, biased. But he's supposed to be...it's not a straight news program like Campbell Brown's is, for example.
I like O'Reilly's program, to some extent. But his arrogance is annoying...as is the shouting. I think you can be just as effective in proving your knowledge and outrage without shouting quite that loud. But I do find it entertaining...and again, I learn about things I otherwise might not.
Clearly I'm not alone. FOX News has been successful for a reason, and one of these days the mainstream networks will have to face the music.
Deciphering Good Progress from Bad
I'm a big "gut" girl. While I haven't always gone with my gut, I've lived long enough to know I wish I had. Gut instincts can be powerful. I personally believe our gut is our conscience: When something feels right, it probably is. And if it feels wrong, it probably is.For example, I was thinking about recycling -- what an everyday thing it is today -- and how it didn't used to be. I consider recycling, in almost all its forms, to be a good thing. Logical. Reasonable. At Sam's club they don't bag anything. Now how much sense does that make? (Although as my friend points out, their reasoning probably isn't altruistic...they just can't bag things that big.) So much that grocery stores now ask if you'd like your milk or 6-pack in a bag -- and of course I don't. It just feels wrong to put it in a bag, doesn't it?
But years ago we did. Years ago the entire concept of not bagging everything was foreign to us. Now when I purchase an item of clothing at a name-brand store at a mall, for example (a rare thing for me since I hate malls and buy most of our clothes from Target or second-hand stores), I can't stand it when they put like five little pairs of my son's new underwear in a fancy bag. What a waste! Of course these bags can be beneficial in some other ways, but only if you don't accumulate too much of them.
My point is this: Recycling is an example of progress that just makes sense to most people. However, not all "progress" is considered progress by everyone -- hence, the political divide. There are many people who consider abortion progress for women, for example. Clearly not everyone agrees. There are many people who consider gay marriage or modern feminism to be a boon for our country; not everyone agrees with that either. But the end of slavery is progress by any reasonable standard, and 99% of people agree on this.
When it comes to the idea of "progress," which is a liberal concept to which both conservatives and liberals subscribe, there will never be complete agreement. So what I do is think of progress on a sliding scale: some is good, some isn't good. And how I determine the difference usually comes down to my gut.
I don't think I'm that different from most people in this regard. In fact I believe when it comes to what's happening in the White House, most Americans know in their gut that they hired the wrong man for the job. Whether they'll admit it or not is something else.
The Effects of Modern Parenting
A while back I wrote a post titled "I'm Okay -- You're Okay Parents." I had just read The Narcissism Epidemic, which highlights the changes that have occurred in parenting these past few decades. This book, along with Born Liberal, Raised Right, are must reads (though I can assure you they won't be on Oprah's list.)The gist of The Narcissism Epidemic is this: Children are now considered their parents' equals as opposed to their charges. "[Jean M. Twenge’s] study conclusively shows that there has been a tectonic cultural shift in what we teach and expect from our children. People whose birthdays fall between the early 1970s and the 2000s – adults now in their thirties down to grade schoolers and toddlers – have all been marked by this change," writes Dr. Young-Eisendrath, author of The Self-Esteem Trap.
You've undoubtedly noticed that children no longer refer to adults as Mr. or Mrs. You've also probably noticed children don't look you in the eye when they speak to you. Perhaps they mumble a please or thank you -- but always under their breath. Then there's the not cleaning up after their messes, or the -- and there's really only one way to put it -- the attitude. It's an attitude that suggests the child thinks you're his equal. It's as if you have to earn his respect instead of automatically getting it b/c you're the adult. In addition, there's the idea that the world revolves around them -- that they're the only people that matter and that what they want is what they want. They feel wholeheartedly entitled to whatever "it" happens to be.
Welcome to modern parenting.
So it came as no surprise to read an article yesterday titled "College Grad Can't Find Job, Wants Money Back." A 27 year-old woman named Trina Thompson is suing the college she attended b/c she can't find a job several months after graduation! Can you imagine?
Trina Thompson is a poster child for what you get when you raise your children with an inflated sense of worth. Children who've been raised with a sense of entitlement cannot handle such rudimentary tasks as looking for a job without blaming someone else when it doesn't go their way. I can't tell you the number of resumes and cover letters I've written in my life; it's literally in the hundreds. These children also have trouble getting out of their parents' house. Their baby boomer parents have crippled their ability to do for themselves and accept defeat.
It's a sad state of affairs that must be changed.
Moving to Mexico
The following was placed in my mailbox. It's too good not to share.Subject: Moving To Mexico
Dear Members of Congress:
I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my
husband's health, and I would like to ask you to assist me. We're planning
to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and we'll need
your assistance to make a few arrangements..
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration
quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do
here.
So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Felipe Calderon, that I'm
on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the
following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need,
whether I use them or not.
3. All Mexico government forms, printed in Spanish, need to also be printed
in English.
4. I want my kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual)
teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag
pole at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to
government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but, I don't plan to
purchase car insurance, and I, probably won't make any special effort to
learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from
their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has
at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U S. flag decals on
my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any
complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have
any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely
nice and never say a critical thing about me or my family, or about the
strain we might place on their economy.
I know this is an easy request because you, that is the United States,
already do all these things for all his people who come to the U.S. from
Mexico. I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor
if you ask him nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind help.
Sincerely, U.S. Citizen & Taxpayer