No Bull Mom

Being Judgmental

Speaking of personalities, I must address a disease I believe plagues Americans: the desire to be liked. Or to be more specific, the desire to be viewed as non-judgmental -- or just plain nice.

Today, being "nice" and being non-judgmental are the same thing. In the old days, being nice referred to kindness, thoughtfulness, attentiveness, that sort of thing. Today being nice means you have no opinion whatsoever about what other people say and do. It means accepting everything and everyone just as they are -- even if you disagree. A nice person, a good person never makes judgments. Which is why you undoubtedly find yourself nodding along in conversations with people with whom you disagree -- when what you're really thinking is, "I totally disagree with this person."

Here's a bit of harsh truth: There isn't a person out there who doesn't make value judgments. Those who appear to be nonjudgmental are simply playing a part: They either desperately need to be liked by everyone with whom they come in contact or they hate conflict. Don't think for a moment they don't go home to their spouses and tell them what they really think.)

There is absolutely nothing bad or immoral about making value judgments.

Being a judgmental person and making value judgments is not the same thing. Being judgmental means forming an opinion about something or someone without knowing the facts. If I simply look at a person, and based on his appearance or some information I happen to know about him decide whether or not I like him -- or worse, if I treated him disrespectfully as a result -- then yes, I would be a judgmental person. But if I take a stand on a cultural or political issue based upon principle, like most conservative-minded people do (you know, those judgmental types), I'm not being judgmental; I'm making a value judgment about what I believe is best for society.

Liberals make just as many value judgments -- more, actually -- than conservatives. Liberals have a very specific idea about how the world should operate. Their motto is "live and let live." That's a value judgment. They then force this worldview upon society because they believe this is the proper way, the good way, the moral way to think. Those who don't agree with the "live and let live" philosophy are considered bigoted, inflexible, and narrow-minded.

This liberal worldview is a judgment. They are judging the way people should behave -- which I think is fine to do. I believe in making value judgments about how a society should operate. But to suggest that conservatives are "close-minded" and liberals are "open" is glaringly hypocritical. In fact quite the opposite is true. Conservatives have no problem with people thinking or feeling differently than they do. They may debate the issue and disagree, but they don't hold the philosophy against the person. A liberal will. A liberal will judge a conservative simply based on his beliefs. That's why when conservatives are in conversation with liberals, they're notoriously quiet. They know that if they share their beliefs they'll be judged by liberals.

This cultural phenomenon has a name: political correctness. It's an insidious mechanism liberals use to shout down people with whom they disagree, people who they believe think the "wrong way." It is conservative-minded people who are silenced. Liberals shout their beliefs from the rooftops.

So I ask you: Which worldview -- liberal or conservative -- is truly judgmental?