Dear Lauren

Dear Lauren,
It was great meeting you today. I haven't stepped foot on a college campus in 20 years! It was interesting, to say the least.

I waited for you after Ms. Valenti's lecture because I was so moved by your courage. As you saw, Ms. Valenti wants you to think casual sex is harmless. I can see that you know otherwise -- and you're more than 10 years younger than she is!

More importantly, that you sat in a lecture hall with several hundred people and spoke the unpopular speaks volumes about where you are headed in life. I'm sorry you were disappointed with Valenti's talk -- that you didn't realize what she stood for prior to going in. Now that you've sat through her leftist garbage, allow me to offer you something to support your views. It's an Amazon review of Ms. Valenti's book, The Purity Myth -- written by a 22-year old young woman named Amy. It should make you feel great about what you did this morning.

Congrats on being you.

Suzanne Venker

I am a young woman (I'm 22), and I have no hidden agenda. I think there is a big problem with casual sex. Biologically speaking, women are physically and emotionally more vulnerable to casual sex than men (but they don't hear about that in sex education or women's studies).
The feminists in the schools and universities do women a big disservice by trying to pursuade young women that to be liberated they have to embrace the casual sex ethic. They push to promote "safe sex", with no information on the emotional consequences.

But the studies show that most women regret casual sex and wish they had abstained or waited longer. Increased sexual permissiveness amongst young women has lead to a 'hook up' culture and a mental health crisis of rising STD's and emotional damage to young women who end up used and discarded--often many times.
Jessica's book "The Purity myth" is counterproductive in that she tries to claim there is no issue with young women sleeping around. I think what she means is that she likes casual sex, but many women hate it, and many end up deeply regreting casual sex, and resenting the men who take advantage of them. Teenage girls need to hear better instructions and standards about sex from those they look up to and trust (their parents and teachers).

A lot of men will do anything for casual sex, they invent a whole different personality. It can be devastating for a girl to realise that the man she gave her body to merely saw her as a warm place to masturbate with. When I was a teen, I agreed to casual sex with men, based on the information I got from my parents and teachers - I thought I was choosing the "liberated" path - but I ended up confused and hurt. Now I realise the truth is that casual sex is akin to being treated as an unpaid whore. We should be teeling teen girls to get men to take them out and buy them things before they go to bed with a man. The pro casual sex feminists are women's worst enemy. It's not liberating to get used as an unpaid whore. Casual sex is pro-men, not pro-women. When women give sex freely, men get what they want (sex) and are left to dictate the terms of the relationship, while the woman is left relatively powerless. People forget the ease at which men can seperate sex and love, and that men have a higher sex drive. And due to fertility concerns, many women want to begin their family earlier than men do. All these things make casual sex harmful to women, at least impractical to most women out there.

In the end, it might be fashionable to say men and women are the same when it comes to sex, but real life has definitely taught me differently.

5 Responses to “Dear Lauren”:

  1. Lauren Rhodes says:

    Dear Ms.Venker,

    Thank you so much for writing about me in your Blog! I was truly flatter when you came up to me after the lecture. I never expected to get so much support and kind words from people! I stood up today for myself, I could have cared less if people would have booed instead of clapped… I stood up for what I believed and what I believe to be the truth I couldn’t just sit there silently as young women are told lies that could ruin their lives and put them on a destructive path. I feel the conservative view is understated and looked down upon… it’s not old fashioned it’s the RIGHT thing to do (pun not intended lol). I appreciate your support it was difficult for me to express the right words about how I felt I have never done anything like that before, but sometimes you have to do what you know is right… even if you’re the only one. Thank you so much

    In response to the review of the book written by Amy…
    It was nice to know that I am not alone in what I believe and I agree with a lot of the things she said. But at the same time I think society and women are even more messed up than we think …

    “Now I realise the truth is that casual sex is akin to being treated as an unpaid whore. We should be telling teen girls to get men to take them out and buy them things before they go to bed with a man.”

    I feel like having men take you out to dinner and buy you things before having sex with them is like …BEING A PAID WHORE. A Woman’s purity and body should not be bought or earned in this manner. Its sick but a lot of women think … well he took me to dinner… he bought me this pretty necklace; I should have sex with him now because he gave these things to me? UM NO. No one should feel they HAVE to have sex just because nice things are done or bought for them. It’s just so saddening to me to see how far we have gotten away from the truth and what is right. Thank you Susanne for Blogging about what is right and what you believe in you will inspire so many .I completely agree with your points. I just pray women everywhere will realize soon what they are doing to themselves and how it’s hurting them inside and to know they deserve so much better.

    Lauren Rhodes

  2. That's interesting. I noticed the silliness of that particular sentence in the review, too.

  3. Joanne says:

    Congratulations Lauren! Standing up for yourself in that situation took alot of courage. Thanks Suzanne for sharing this with us.

    The comment the reviewer made about buying things was interesting. You are right she shouldn't feel like she has to have sex with a man if he gives her gifts etc. I would recommend listening to Dennis Prager's radio show on Wednesdays. The second hour of his show he devotes to male/female relationships. He did once talk about how a good man will spend money on a woman as a way to show her his ability to care for /provide for her . While he acknowledges all men wish for sex afterwards, a man who really cares for you will not expect it. I cannot recommend this hour of his show enough to all women, it really helped me understand men more.

  4. Mike M says:

    Dear Lauren,
    You are 22 years old and already you are showing a great deal of confidence and courage, you may have inspired other girl in that room to rethink
    their values and maybe one day someone will thank you for reminding them about self respect. I enjoyed reading your story on the blog and I hope
    you can come by again and give us news about you you have touch our hearts. Thank you again Suzanne for bringing this gem of a story to share.

  5. Lauren Rhodes says:

    Thank you Joanne and Mike for your encouraging words.
    Actually I’m only 18 years old lol, Mike the passage you read was by a girl named Amy who is 22 and she wrote that in response to Ms. Valenti's book. But I agree with most of what that young woman had to say…minus a few skewed points. Joanne I will most defiantly check out the radio show you mentioned, sounds very interesting. But thank you both for the comments left in response to the story. I was blessed to meet Ms.Venker and have her talk with me afterwords. Reading her story on the blog is so flattering and reading everyones response really means a lot and makes me feel good knowing I’m doing the right thing …as unpopular as it might be. Thanks again Suzanne for being brave enough to blog about this topic! I put your link on my Facebook as well so hopefully more and more people are inspired by your blogs as well! If I touched just one single girl by speaking out that day… or even none…and just got women thinking… I know what I did was worth it!