No Bull Mom

Confidence vs. Arrogance

The issue of confidence (as compared to arrogance) is a subject I've tackled before and probably will again. It's one I feel strongly about -- and in light of my recent post about Obama being a narcissist (which is a form of arrogance), I thought I'd elaborate.

Confidence means (1) full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing, or (2) belief in one's abilities. Confidence is a good thing -- something to which we should all aspire. Arrogance means "offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride." Arrogance is a bad thing -- something to which no person should aspire.

There is an undeniable difference between these two personality traits, though it's certainly easy to confuse the two. Happens all the time. So how can you tell the difference?

Let's begin with our current president and the last one -- who have both been referred to as arrogant. If you take a really close look at both of these men -- regardless of your politics -- it's clear Obama is arrogant and Bush is simply confident. For one thing, Bush didn't feel the need to hear himself talk the way Obama does. Obama has taken up more air time in his first few months in office than any other president has during their entire term. Says a lot.

Second, Bush is a religious man who openly discussed his faith in God -- and admits God was instrumental in his role as president. Obama has no allegiance to any religion and does not discuss his faith -- whatever it may be. This is fine, nothing wrong with that. But Bush's open adherence to a higher authority clearly demonstrates a lack of arrogance.

Third, Obama passes the buck whenever possible. Confident people don't do need to do this.

Confident people get lumped in with arrogant people all the time. The label is usually hurled at them by people who are either envious or insecure about their knowledge about a particular subject. But the main difference is that truly arrogant people, like Bill O'Reilly for example, need to dominate the scene. And they have a style about them that makes people feel inferior or suggests they are God.

Confident people have a tendency to make others feel inferior, too -- but it's not a result of their need to overpower people or make them feel bad about themselves. On the contrary, confident people love other confident people and have no desire to dominate the conversation.

In most cases, the only people who feel inferior next to a confident person are those who know less about something than the confident person does. Or they lack self-confidence themselves and are envious of the confident person. But unlike arrogant people, confident people don't make others feel icky -- though they may inadvertently make someone feel like they should go home and study up on something. See the difference?

I love confident people, and I hate arrogant people. I bet you do, too.