No Bull Mom

The Effects of Modern Parenting

A while back I wrote a post titled "I'm Okay -- You're Okay Parents." I had just read The Narcissism Epidemic, which highlights the changes that have occurred in parenting these past few decades. This book, along with Born Liberal, Raised Right, are must reads (though I can assure you they won't be on Oprah's list.)

The gist of The Narcissism Epidemic is this: Children are now considered their parents' equals as opposed to their charges. "[Jean M. Twenge’s] study conclusively shows that there has been a tectonic cultural shift in what we teach and expect from our children. People whose birthdays fall between the early 1970s and the 2000s – adults now in their thirties down to grade schoolers and toddlers – have all been marked by this change," writes Dr. Young-Eisendrath, author of The Self-Esteem Trap.

You've undoubtedly noticed that children no longer refer to adults as Mr. or Mrs. You've also probably noticed children don't look you in the eye when they speak to you. Perhaps they mumble a please or thank you -- but always under their breath. Then there's the not cleaning up after their messes, or the -- and there's really only one way to put it -- the attitude. It's an attitude that suggests the child thinks you're his equal. It's as if you have to earn his respect instead of automatically getting it b/c you're the adult. In addition, there's the idea that the world revolves around them -- that they're the only people that matter and that what they want is what they want. They feel wholeheartedly entitled to whatever "it" happens to be.

Welcome to modern parenting.

So it came as no surprise to read an article yesterday titled "College Grad Can't Find Job, Wants Money Back." A 27 year-old woman named Trina Thompson is suing the college she attended b/c she can't find a job several months after graduation! Can you imagine?

Trina Thompson is a poster child for what you get when you raise your children with an inflated sense of worth. Children who've been raised with a sense of entitlement cannot handle such rudimentary tasks as looking for a job without blaming someone else when it doesn't go their way. I can't tell you the number of resumes and cover letters I've written in my life; it's literally in the hundreds. These children also have trouble getting out of their parents' house. Their baby boomer parents have crippled their ability to do for themselves and accept defeat.

It's a sad state of affairs that must be changed.