Subject: Moving To Mexico
Dear Members of Congress:
I'm planning to move my family and extended family into Mexico for my
husband's health, and I would like to ask you to assist me. We're planning
to simply walk across the border from the U.S. into Mexico, and we'll need
your assistance to make a few arrangements..
We plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration
quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things the same way you do
So, would you mind telling your buddy, President Felipe Calderon, that I'm
on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need,
whether I use them or not.
3. All Mexico government forms, printed in Spanish, need to also be printed
4. I want my kids to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bi-lingual)
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the flag
pole at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy access to
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but, I don't plan to
purchase car insurance, and I, probably won't make any special effort to
learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers does not get the memo from
their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has
at least one English-speaking officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U S. flag decals on
my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any
complaints or negative comments from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have
any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please have the president tell all the Mexican people to be extremely
nice and never say a critical thing about me or my family, or about the
strain we might place on their economy.
I know this is an easy request because you, that is the United States,
already do all these things for all his people who come to the U.S. from
Mexico. I am sure that President Calderon won't mind returning the favor
if you ask him nicely.
Thank you so much for your kind help.
Sincerely, U.S. Citizen & Taxpayer
Dated: 4:00 AM